by Tootsie Herrera-Bellones
{MY STORY}
Rommel and I do not have your classic love story where boy meets girl, they fall in love, they get married, they live happily ever after. We met for the first time when we were both in law school, he in his 3rd year, I on my 1st year. I thought he was “tikalon” (proud) and he thought I was “suplada” (snobby). Simply put, there were no fireworks or rainbows on our first meeting. When I passed my Bar, I was recruited by one of my professors in law school to join their law firm. Rommel was one of the lawyers in the same firm. We eventually started working together on some cases, and we became friends. Just friends, no fireworks or rainbows still. So it came as a surprise to us when every now and then, people would tease us, telling us that we look good together, or that we’d end up with each other. We laughed it off. I even answered all the teasing with a categorical no. Gradually though, we realized that a day would not be complete until we got to hang out in my cubicle, or the night would not end without him sending me a text message. But there was a complication, as he happened to be in a relationship during that time. So we resisted the growing closeness, we denied whatever we were feeling, we avoided each other.
But I now know that when God has planned two people to be with each other, He makes ways for them to be together. Rommel was the only one who believed with conviction that our relationship, especially during the start, would work out when everybody else, including me, thought that it would not. He never asked me to be his girlfriend because he immediately asked me to marry him. He never was my boyfriend because he became my husband after I said yes to marry him at dawn of February 14, 2006. We were married by our favorite law school professor, who happens to be a judge, on February 20, 2006. It was just the 2 of us, and our ninang judge, who knew of that wonderful day. On February 20, 2007, we got married in church, with all our families and friends celebrating with us. Seven years after, we are living a life beyond how we imagined it to be, especially with our 5-year old Cookie, completing us. We love each other more today and everyday hereafter, for the next 7 million years to come.
{TIP}
After seven years of a roller coaster married life, Rommel and I know that marriages work because of true love between the spouses. We got married because we know that we love each other. We were not simply in love, but we were sure that we wanted grow old together, for better or for worse. We got married for the right reasons. During our civil wedding, Rommel and I were crying not because we were sad but because we were grateful to be married to each other, despite and inspite of everything that we had to go through. We were also aware that our lives would be different from then on, it would even probably be difficult for us, but we made a commitment to each other that no matter what, we would make our marriage work. A year after, when we got married in church, we invited the people whom we know were happy for us, who were celebrating us, and who were there because they love us. It was a small wedding, we only had our immediate families and a few close friends. We made sure that it was the wedding that we both wanted. Rommel and I were hands-on, from the color motif, to the wedding band and the songs that they would play, the food and the drinks, even with the cake and the photographer! We enjoyed every moment of the ceremony - the priest who gave the sermon knew of our love story from day one, the food was delicious, the church and the venue were simple yet elegant, everybody was having fun. It was how we imagined it to be, and more.
{DISCOVERY}
More than the wedding ceremony, what is more important is the marriage. A wedding happens in just one day (two days for us, one civil wedding, one church wedding), but a marriage lasts a lifetime. Everyday since February 20, 2006, we make an effort to make sure that our marriage works. There are days that are more difficult than the others, but we always believe that we can solve whatever problem that we meet along the way, especially that we are solving it together. We always tell each other that we are friends first before we are a couple, and that really helps because we knew each other as we are, no best foot forward, no pretentions. It’s a bonus that we had beautiful wedding ceremonies, both the civil and the church ceremonies, because we get to look back to those days, and be reminded of how amazing God is, for bringing the two of us together.
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